The Heart of A Man MUST Contain…

I am a little behind in getting this put up.  This is from this past Father’s Day in June 2016.

The Heart of a man MUST contain: WILDNESS!

Three Titles of Fatherhood:

1. Father – 2 Timothy 3:16-17
These men embody the element of education

2. Dad – Proverbs 3:11-12
These men embody the element of mentorship

3. Daddy – Proverbs 22:6; Luke 15:20, 22-24
These men embody the element of foundation & Jesus

Three Principles of Fatherhood:

Micah 6:8
“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

1. Leadership
2. Passion
3. Accountability

We do justly by being an example of Leadership when we deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus each and every day.

We love mercy by holding fast to and applying the principle of love through instruction, forgiveness and servanthood.

We walk humbly with God by submitting to His authority in our live and allowing His word to be written on our hearts, His Spirit to sit on the throne of that heart, and to be invested in relationship with each other to support that walk.

Radical Love

This is my message from Sunday Morning the 15th of May, 2016.  “RADICAL LOVE.”

There are a few simple bullet points and scripture below the video, but I did not include the whole transcript as it would have been huge!  I hope if you take time to watch and listen that you do so through the whole message and take to heart what is being shared.

Thank you!


  • How do we choose to define love?
  • What picture do we have to follow to define it in our lives?
  • The Story of the Good Samaritan


Luke 10:25-37 (ESV)

“And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.””

  • So who is your neighbor?
  • A radical love does not allow the heart to lay judgment on others
  • A radical love does not view themselves as better than another based on what sins are committed
  • A radical love ACKNOWLEDGES SIN
  • But a radical love does not ACCEPT SIN
  • Radical love comes down to truth
  • Not just truth but Truth with a capital “T”
  • That capital “T” truth is Jesus
  • Radical love is the love of Jesus
  • Jesus didn’t come for those who were healthy – he came for those who were sick


1 John 3:18 (NIV)

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

  • If we live out the TRUTH with a capital “T” in radical love that comes from the heart of Jesus then we have a powerful, uplifting, life changing, addictive love that will draw people to us and to the heart of Jesus.

From Generation to Generation

In Joshua Chapter four, the Israelites have just crossed over the dry ground of the Jordan whose waters the Lord parted.  They are on their way to Jericho.

When they were all through, the Lord passed a command on to Joshua and the people that twelve men were to be selected, one from each tribe, to go back to the dry ground before the ark and the priests left it and gather one stone each to be used to build an altar in memorial to what God had done that day.

The most powerful part of this epic moment is when Joshua passes on this commandment to the people as instruction.  He not only tells them what the commandment is, but goes further – just take a look at verses 6-7

Joshua 4:6-7

“…that this maybe a sign among you.  When you children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord.  When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.  So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.” (emphasis added)

The Lord of all establishes with his people a reminder – a reminder that will be seen by future generations to come.  This altar is left so that the questions WILL be asked and that the memory of what God did will be passed from generation to generation.

This was not just a reminder for God’s people in the end – it would stand as a reminder for so much more – a reminder whose purpose was of the greatest significance.  After all is said and done – they have crossed, the stone has been collected and the altar built – the priests have come up out of the Jordan and the waters have once again flowed together – then and only then do we see the higher significance of this whole process.  Read in verse 24

Joshua 4:24

“…so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

There it is!  Ultimately, the people have a story to tell their children – but more importantly this stands as a reminder that the Lord God Almighty is in control and is to be feared and worshiped!

As a father, I ask myself – what memorial and legacy am I working on leaving behind for my children?  What memorials have I built in my life as a testament to the power of what God has done?  The hard truth is – I am not real sure at this point.  But now, God certainly has my attention.

I want there to be memories after I have gone on that my grandchildren and great grandchildren will see that are reminders of me that will cause them to ask questions that lead to fun and amazing stories!  More importantly, I want them to be defined by the truth of what God has done to make them so amazing.

I want pass on to my children memorials that they will pass on to their children who in turn will pass on to their children the truth of God Almighty and the wonders of a relationship with him that will last from generation to generation so that all those who come in contact with my stories and their stories will know that, “the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

Crossing Dry Ground

In Joshua Chapter 3, we read the story of God proving his power through Joshua as the new leader of his people.

In doing so, God once again parts waters (this time the Jordan River) so that his people may cross on dry ground on their way to Jericho.

At first sight, this story may seem one of the same old same old ideals and miracles of the Old Testament.  But what if we go just a bit further in…

Joshua 3:3-4

“As soon as you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God being carried by the Levitical priests, then you shall set out from your place and follow it.  Yet there shall be a distance between you and it, about 2,000 cubits in length.  Do not come near it, in order that you may know the way you shall go, for you have not passed this way before.”

Each and every day that we wake and breathe in life once more is a new place, a new adventure waiting for us.  It is somewhere we have not been before.

In the case of the Israelites and Joshua, the ark of the covenant was the God’s presence in their midst.  It went ahead of them and led the way.  God directly instructs them to keep their distance and allow the ark to lead because they had not been there before.  He wanted to perfectly clear the path for them in order that they would succeed in the coming adventure of crossing the Jordan.

Do we take each and every new day as we wake in this same manner?  Are we keeping our distance until we have connected properly and communicated with God so as to be prepared for what is coming in that day that lies ahead?  I mean, He has already been there so why would we not start each new day by discovering a trust in his leading?

But it does not stop there…

Joshua 3:13

“And when the soles of the feet of the priests bearing the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan shall be cut off from flowing, and the waters coming down from above shall stand in one heap.”

If Joshua and the Israelites, by following God’s lead (the ark) would see waters spread so they could walk on dry land – then why, WHY would we ever doubt the simplest of things that we are going to deal with each and every day when we wake up??  If God can part waters, he can lead us through anything!

In verses 14 to the end of the chapter, we see God follow through with all that he has said and revealed his power within Joshua as the new leader after Moses.  And don’t think of this as another Bible story as a kid…think of this as reality…

God speaks – God delivers!

The waters, the overflowing banks of the Jordan are raised, pushed back and dry ground is laid before the people as the Levitical priests with the ark lead the way through.

Picture that in your mind…really picture it!


In the coming days as you wake up, empower yourself for the new adventure ahead, the places you have not yet been and let God each day through the power of his word (our ark of the covenant) part the waters ahead of you so that you can cross on dry ground!

Vow to Me (Girls Night Out) – Thought on Marriage

I can tell you right now, this week will be the hardest week for me to try and deliver a strong message and a solid foundation.  See, I am closing this marriage blog series with a title of “Girl’s Night Out,” and what I want to accomplish is understanding the heart of a woman!

Okay, men, are you with me here – nothing in life is as confusing as a woman!  Am I right?  Whether single or married, there are always new things to learn and some things that we will spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out.

In light of this – here is an example:

Things Women Say and What Men Hear…

I need = I want

We need = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper…

I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really going to hate

I’ll be ready in a minute = You have 30 Minutes so relax
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No

I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

I was wrong = Not as wrong as you

Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

 I am going to give you a few quick things that I see as essentials to the heart of a woman.  I am not going to pretend that I know all that much, but I can tell you that scripture helps me define some things and I want to point out a few principles that I believe are a foundation.  But just before we get there – see if this video resonates with anyone!

Okay, the funny stuff is great and we all need the laughs, but now I want to look at the beauty of the creation of women…so, let’s start with a purpose.

Genesis 2:18, 21-23

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him…  So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

At the creation of man and woman, we know we were all created in God’s image and here we see God give purpose to the woman: “I will make a helper fit for him.”

Point One:


 Now, I love how God put it – FIT FOR HIM.  He created woman to be what the man needed.  He created woman to be desirable.  Men, there is a reason why we are commanded to love a woman as Christ loves us and the church – because they were created as a perfect fit for us – they deserve our love and respect because of the support that they are to us.  Guys, this is a commandment not a suggestion – can I get an AMEN ladies?

Now, as a helper, there are two major things that I see in scripture that I want to share quickly with you that I believe should be the heart of a woman.

Point Two: 


 Relationship – no matter where or how it exists is built on TRUST!  This is an ultimate quality in a Godly woman – what should exist in the heart of a woman.

Proverbs 31 gives us the picture of the perfect woman of God – something that is to be aspired to by all women.  This is a picture painted in regards to the heart of a woman and her relationship and example of Christ.  It is not really about her abilities or her status.  But trust is addressed in this way – look at verse 11 with me:

 Proverbs 31:11

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Women, I know some of you will want to kill me for this one, but a trait that is more common in women than men is gossip.  I don’t know why – just as certain things are more common for a man and we can’t truly explain it.  The point is – this is a huge point to the character of trust.

Proverbs 11:13, 16a

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”

 “A kindhearted woman gains honor…”

A Godly woman is a woman you can trust!  Trust is at the heart of what holds all relationships together.  Without trust – there is no relationship.  Whether a friend, a co-worker, employee or wife – trust is the mark of a Godly Woman.  Integrity is defined by trust – relationships are built on trust – inner contentment is the reward that comes out of trust!

Point Three: 


 Proverbs 31:25

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Our equality is measured by our desire to stand for what is right.  A Godly woman knows who she is, she can laugh at what comes because she knows her ways are sure – this is all due to the fact that she knows who she belongs to – she belongs to Jesus.  We see no separation when it comes to Christ.  Look at what Paul says:

Galatians 3:27-28

“for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

The heart of a woman, the Godly woman takes her stand for the right because it is the truth of God!  It’s not about gender or status – It is about what God has said is right!

Now, I have given you some principles that are the truth of scripture.  Scripture helps with some specifics, but real life lends itself in a whole different light.  Scripture also pointed us to principles that are and should be at the heart of a woman.

I will never admit to fully understanding a woman or the heart of a woman.  I don’t believe any guy would and if they do – they must be legally insane.  Ultimately, what we take from this is that the heart of a woman is what produces her true beauty!

There will always be physical attributes that attract men to women and vice versa.  But men, hear me, and women – hear me even more clearly – the woman whose heart follows what we have discovered today – that woman is a true keeper!

Vow to Me (Man Cave) – Thought on Marriage

What Men Say and What They Actually Mean –

When a man says “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”  He means: “I have no idea how it works”

When a man says “TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’  He means: “I can’t hear the game over whatever it is your doing”

When a man says: “IT’S A GUY THING”  He means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical”

When a man says “UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR”  He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response.

When a man says “I DON’T THINK I CAN GO TODAY.”  He means: Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way.

When a man says, “I DON’T REMEMBER SAYING THAT.”  It’s because he means: “Anything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 3 days.”

If a man says, “HONEY, WHAT COLOR IS THIS?”  He means: ALL men see in only 7 colors, like a rainbow. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. And, I have no idea what color “taupe” is.

Today, I want to look at the men in our lives and more importantly, to encourage those men to continue to seek to be the example we are called to be in the roles that we play.  We will do this through the physical and spiritual idea of the man cave.  Take a look at the following video:

Oh yeah – the MAN CAVE – not just a location, but a fortress, a hideout, a destination and place of relaxation and recuperation!  Here we find our place of security, power, respect – this is our ultimate domain!  Here we are truly the king.  Let me hear it men – the Tool Time\Tim Allen grunt!  For those who have a man cave or that room that is your own – what exists in it?

 “The Ultimate Man Cave must contain…” (the following are answers from actual men asked)

 A Man

Killer AV with THX

A Fridge

Dead Animals

Neon Signs

Pepsi Fountain Machine

Unlimited Supply of Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies


Recording Studio

See, there is a reason why even as boys we desire this separation – this place of fortress.  Think about it – the club or treehouse with the sign or rule of “No Girls Allowed.”  This is the masculine build, the formula of how we were created in the image of God.  We were created for a purpose – and that is where our main message and challenge lies this morning – we love our physical man caves and we do need that place of solace – but what about the solace of our hearts?  What makes up our inner man cave?  What shouldn’t be inside and more importantly…what SHOULD be inside?  I asked other’s this question as well and got some funny responses but also some thoughtful ones as well.

“The Heart of a man must contain…”


Four Chambers





A Passion for His Family

The Word of God

A few people hit the nail on the head here.  What should overwhelm the heart of a man is his desire to be the example of Christ in the lives of those around him.  For a more simple thought – a man is called to be a LEADER!  Scripture hits so many good points on this, but we will look at a more general focus first…I want to establish a foundation.

Romans 12:1-2

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Men, it all starts with our commitment to lay down ourselves just as Christ did for us in order that we may lead by example!  Our inner man cave must be built on a foundation that is self-LESS not self-ISH!  Our example must shine in all that we do.  This means our words AND our actions.

Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

We know with our words that we can tear down, but we are commanded to use our words for building up.  Men, think about what your words mean to those around you, those who you love.  I don’t have to convince you or give you a direct example for you all to know the difference your words make whether positive or negatively spoken.

But then again, how much more do your actions speak to those around you?  How much more of an impact can a simple act of selflessness have when it is seen by others – and trust me – people see it.

Matthew 5:16

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

But here is the real kick in the pants men – when it comes to the selfless vs. the selfish – how and why we do the things we do and say the things we say have to be based on the foundation of a pure heart.  The purpose must be that those around us see the spirit of Christ behind what we do.  In no way should we deliver these words and\or actions with a hidden agenda or expectation.

So how do we keep it pure?  How do we lead properly with a Christ like example?  There is a road map.  One we have visited before and we will visit again I am sure.

Micah 6:8

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Gentlemen – here is the platform we must stand on.  Here are the tools that should be laid out within our inner man cave – within the heart – in order that we might be the men, husbands, fathers, and examples we are called and created to be:


 We DO JUSTLY by being an example of Leadership through Christ

 We LOVE MERCY by holding fast to and applying the principle of forgiveness in all things

 We WALK HUMBLY WITH GOD by submitting to His authority in our life and allowing His Word to be written on our hearts and His Spirit to sit on the throne of that same heart

 Men – the title of Father, Husband and MAN is more than just a recognition of family.  It is a position and seat of leadership.  But the authority that comes with this title is not to be used for force or power – it is a privilege and an honor to hold this position.  And when we achieve this seat it is as an example for all those in our lives – not just those who may today or one day call us Dad or Husband.  As we read – our example is to shine before ALL PEOPLE – because we are not just representing ourselves – we are representing our Father in Heaven.

I ask this question as your challenge moving forward, men –

“The Heart of a man must contain…”


Vow to Me (Intimacy) – Thought on Marriage

I remember the first time I recall a “sex” talk at church.  I am sure there were several times that I had been involved with lessons on the topic, but this particular one stands out in my mind.  It was a couple of summer’s after I graduated high school.  I was working for the student ministry at the church I grew up in.  The start of the morning went something like this:

The kids would not calm down or be quiet.  Our youth pastor was trying to start.  Finally he looks up at me in the sound booth and makes a motion to turn his mic on and up and proceeds to begin the morning as follows: 

“SEX is great, SEX is awesome, SEX is fantastic, SEX is outstanding!  And now that I have everyone’s attention, let’s talk about how God designed it and why it is meant for marriage!”

If it isn’t painfully obvious, we are going to explore the topic of intimacy or sex.  But it is not just about the concept, no, it is about how we view it, how we talk about it, the temptation it can create, God’s design for it and the differences between how men and women when it comes to sex.

Speaking of the differences between men and women, let’s take a quick side trail to get us warmed up and our brains thinking on the differences.  See, we have to understand that we look at most everything in a different light – so let’s start there.  Here are a few humorous ideas on the differences:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he wants…

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need…

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband…

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife… 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t…

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does…

A woman has the last word in any argument…

Anything the man says after that is the beginning of a new argument… 

Take a look at this video for reference too:

There, we have had a good laugh to start!  Now, honestly, we are going to dive right in.  We know we are different – we talked about that last week when it came to our needs.  We know God designed us to have different needs and that is because we were made to be partners and made to complement one another.  Well, the same goes with the idea of intimacy and sex.  God designed it and just like his creation of us, we see that he created even intimacy and sex within the compass of his image and his design for relationship here to reflect our relationship with Him.  This is where we have to start in our process.  Let me show you:

Deuteronomy 6:4

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.”

It says, “the Lord is ONE.”  “One” here is the word ECHAD.  In this case we are referring to the Holy Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  He is saying they are ONE!  This same word for one is used in reference to God’s creation of intimacy between man and woman:

Genesis 2:24

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

It is used the same way in both passages.  Just as the Trinity is one, so the connection of intimacy or sex, created by God is one!  And that is the direction we follow as we look at a few points this morning regarding God’s design, purpose and approach to sexual intimacy.

Point One:


  1. Connection
  2. Protection

Song of Solomon 7

“How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O noble daughter! Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat, encircled with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon, which looks toward Damascus. Your head crowns you like Carmel, and your flowing locks are like purple; a king is held captive in the tresses. How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights! Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. It goes down smoothly for my beloved, gliding over lips and teeth. I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go out into the fields and lodge in the villages; let us go out early to the vineyards and see whether the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love. The mandrakes give forth fragrance, and beside our doors are all choice fruits, new as well as old, which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.”

Look at the way they are speaking about and to one another.  They are creating a deep, internal, emotional and spiritual connection.  This kind of poetic approach leads to the physical connection and we see it:

Song of Solomon 8:3

“His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me!”

This is the sexual position – this is the physical intimacy that they have desired from the beginning.  This is what it has finally come to after all the process and patience.  And man oh man will we come back to this and talk about the process and patience.  But first we have to cover the second purpose.

Sexual intimacy can and does serve as protection for us – both male and female.  Sexual temptation is one of the most powerful sins that Satan throws our way.  Our society today has made it out to be something that really is most vulnerable in men.  Even the church has focused it more that direction, but I believe that we are missing it entirely if we do not address the fact that even though it may be more prominent in men, it affects women on a grand scale as well, just in different ways.  For men it is primarily a battle with pornography.  But what about women and their fantasy romance novels??  It exists in different forms so that it attracts both sides.

How do we battle this?  Where do we seek protection?  The Bible gives us many ways to do this…here are just a few:

Psalm 119:9

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.”

James 4:7

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Job 31:1

“I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?”

  1. Getting in God’s Word
  2. Speaking out against the Devil – Resisting
  3. Being aware of our weaknesses

Believe it or not, a practical application here – in a marriage relationship – keeping your sex life alive and healthy can be an amazing preventative toward your spouse seeking the desire elsewhere.

Point Two:  (Slide 14)


Another video illustration:

The communication between us definitely plays a role on top of the way we each approach it.  Let me give you what I see and this plays into the idea of how we come to the temptation aspects we do when we try to get fulfilled in other ways – these aspects can influence that:

Men are Visually and Factually stimulated

Women are Emotionally and Fairy Tale stimulated

I like Donald Miller’s idea in “Blue Like Jazz” when he talks about Romeo and Juliet and the different reactions from men and women on the subject:

“Later in the play they accidentally kill themselves.  It was not very believable  but that is what happened.  My date was crying.  I was thinking they got what they deserved.  It seemed stupid to me.  I didn’t understand everything they were talking about, but what I did understand I thought must have been written for girls.  People really should put a limit on how much they give to emotion.  When we were walking out my date clasped my hand, and even thought I wasn’t feeling very mushy I smiled at her.  We ascended the aisle and made our way through the crowded lobby onto the steps of the playhouse.  There were girls everywhere, all of them misty-eyed.  Two girls in fron of us were talking to each other.  One of them threw her arms in the air and cried out, I wish I could know love like Romeo and Juliet! I couldn’t take it anymore.  I whispered under my breath, They’re dead.  I didn’t think anybody heard me, but my date did.  Two girls next to us heard me also, and they told the people next to them.  One idiot guy repeated what I said and laughed, pointing at me.  All the girls looked at me like I had just stepped on a cat.  My date’s body grew cold.  She let go of my hand.  She crossed her arms over her chest and walked a few feet in front of me all the way back to the truck.”

Point Three:


This point is fact based on God’s design and approach.  This is also where we will look again at what I said earlier regarding process and patience.  We will see the proper application and the communication.

First of all, sex is a BEAUTIFUL CREATION of God.  He designed it for physical pleasure and emotional connection.  We have written it off in church as this dirty topic that we don’t talk about or think about.  It’s not meant for church.  On the contrary – that is where our problem lies – it should always be a topic we speak about.

In Colossians, Paul is speaking of the new self and putting away sin and choosing what is good.  He speaks of love creating harmony and how we should be teaching one another in wisdom.  But he closes this passage in chapter three with a statement I find to be applicable to our topic:

Colossians 3:17

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

I don’t know about the rest of you – and I guess I am speaking to the married couples out there but I will go to my grave thanking God for the pleasure of sex!

At the same time, I speak to everyone and most importantly to the singles out there right now – that Paul states in whatever we do we should be doing it in the name of the Lord and that is applicable to following the right timeline for the process of sex which is bent on two ideas in my book:

Galatians 5:22-23

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Those two ideas are found in the fruit of the Spirit:  PATIENCE and SELF CONTROL!

How we communicate the idea of sex to the upcoming generations is so important.  We must communicate correctly so they will apply it in the proper manner.  We have spent so much of the past decade leaving this topic and idea out of the church and so many parents are scared to talk to their kids about it.  So many kids learn about it just in school, from friends, from co-workers, movies, tv, etc.

We wonder why so many kids these days are embracing the sin of sex before marriage.

My friend Mike and I – the one who I used to have so many theological and philosophical discussions with – have a theory on this.

What if instead of saying NO all the time and avoiding the subject and just telling people it is wrong – what if we approached it as the beautiful creation of God that it is – communicated – and then taught the proper application regarding patience and self-control as part of our choosing to have a relationship with a Holy God?  Do you think maybe, just maybe these kids might understand it better?  See it in a different light?

We cannot ignore this topic any longer.  We cannot ignore it in our homes, in our families, and in the church.  Instead, we must embrace sex for what it truly is – the beautiful creation that God has given us.  We must embrace the blessing of the different ways that we approach it as men and women and use that to deepen our connection with each other and help protect one another from the improper application.

If we begin to communicate in a more direct way and more truthful way about sex, I believe we will see a change in the generations to come.

Join me in taking a stand for sex!  Be proud of what God has created for us.  Remember:

“SEX is great, SEX is awesome, SEX is fantastic, SEX is outstanding!  And now that I have everyone’s attention, let’s talk about how God designed it and why it is meant for marriage!”

Vow to Me (The Needs) – Thought on Marriage

In light of the current series here at my church, I wanted to present four lessons on marriage.  That’s right – man vs. woman and woman vs. man.  Today I start by simply looking at what we may define as “The Needs.”  Men and women have different needs when it comes to relationship – obviously we look at things in different ways.  I encourage you to look at this video and have a laugh:


The needs that each of us has have been defined in so many ways over the years.  One of the most prominent ways is the famous book by Gary Chapman – “The Five Love Languages.”  Another I have seen is characterization through what kind of animal you are, or music genre, or movie or TV character.  So many people have put their spin on this.  All of them are good and showcase some very good points, but I want to look a little deeper.  I want to focus on the heart – I want to focus on how God made us for each other.

To do this, I want to break it down – we will look at Men, then Women, and then God.  But first, we need a strong basis and for that we look at Ephesians.  I think this defines well the purpose which we want to get to and understand.  This will tell us what God designed, but we will break it down as we define each person to help us find those needs.

Ephesians 5:22-28

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Honestly, this is so poetic.  It is so beautiful because it was designed by God this way.  I feel like we have lost touch in our society at times with the truth of God’s creation and design for relationship in this way.  So stick with me here – I know at times it will be bold to say what I will say, but I believe that scripture is defining this.  Well, that and John Eldredge and Brent Curtis who I also believe gives us a great picture to work with in this area.

Point One: 


  •  Do you want to be a nice guy or a dangerous man?

There is a reason why boys play cowboys and indians or cops and robbers.  They are seeking adventure, they are seeking to be a hero.  They want something to fight for and someone to rescue.  But they are also built for the authority, the leadership and the ability to provide what is needed for others.  Let’s sum it up in three easy points to remember…

A Man’s Needs:

  1. Respect – To be the provider
  2. Authority – To be the leader
  3. Adventure – To be the hero

Point Two:


  • Women – do you want to be rescued?
  • Women – do you want to be romanced?

There is a reason why little girls play dress up and live off of fairy tales.  There is such an amazing picture within their hearts when they dress up like a princess – why they are crying out for daddy to look at them.  They want to be known, seen, desired and told that they are something beautiful.  They start with daddy, but move toward a husband and the same is true with both situations – they want you to be captivated by them, to rescue them.  We can sum up this in three easy points to remember as well…

A Woman’s Needs:

  1. Captivating – To be loved
  2. Acceptance – To be rescued
  3. Romance – To be desired

Point Three:


Now we come to the payoff – we see the needs that we have, but how does that fit with how God designed us?  Look at Genesis:

Genesis 1:26-30

“Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.”

Look at this!!  I mean…WOW!  How perfect does this fit – do you see it?

  1. Created in God’s image 

We have the characteristics of God

  • Men – Authority and Adventure
  • Women – Captivation and Romance
  1. Created for each other

Made to be partners

  • Men – provide
  • Women – life giving
  1. Created as a compliment for relationship

Made different on purpose

  • Distinct roles to play

If there is one thing you take away from this – it needs to be this – that God’s design for our relationship is a picture of what the relationship with Him should look like!  I love this illustration from Donald Miller in his book, “Blue Like Jazz.”  It comes from a conversation he had with his friend Paul.  Take a look with me, (pg. 146)

“Marriage is the most beautiful thing I have ever dreamed of, Don, but it isn’t everything.  It isn’t Mecca.  Danielle loves everything about me; she accepts me and tolerates me and encourages me.  She knows me better than anybody else in the world, but she doesn’t know all of me, I don’t know all of her.  And I never thought after I got married there would still be something lacking.  I always thought marriage, especially after I first met Danielle, would be the ultimate fulfillment.  It is great, don’t get me wrong, and I am glad I married Danielle, and I will be with her forever.  But there are places in our lives that only God can go.”

Our sacred romance with God is what creates the desire for relationship.  This is the way we were made to be – this is why God designed our needs the way He did.  He knows how true relationship is supposed to work.  We saw this design as we worked our way through scripture this morning.

This is built deep within us.  We can see that through the needs that we have.  But as Miller’s friend Paul pointed out – our acceptance of the truth of God’s love is absolutely necessary for us to live in relationship the way He created us to!

As we learn each day and as we grow – we discover the unique qualities that each of us bring to relationship – the ways in which God designed man and woman to complement each other – just as the relationship we have with God is a complement between us and Him.

Take the opportunity to rekindle the relationship with your spouse if you are married.  And if you are not – dig deep and rekindle the flame that exists in the love of Christ.


Life is a journey we all travel, but may travel in many different ways.  However, with Jesus, our journey finds a common ground.  Scripture gives us clarity and our choice to seek God’s will can make all the difference in the direction that we choose.

I love what God did when he put this message in my heart.  This song has stuck with me since the day it was written and always seems to find its way back into my life as a reminder.  Funny, it seems that maybe it means more to me today than it did when it was written.


 Lyrics and Music by Luke David

©2004 ASCAP\All Rights Reserved

Verse 1

There’s so many things in this world I don’t understand

But most of the time oh it’s out of my hands

Yet still I try to do it all on my own

But You are there everytime to carry me home

So bring me back to where it, it all began

Break me down oh Lord, break me again


I’ll never find my way apart from You

No, I can’t find my way apart from You

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path

I’m upheld by Your victorious right hand

Abba, Father, Son of God, and Son of Man

Verse 2

Desire is heavy the journey is long, so I’ll trust in You

Delighting my whole self in You, whatever I do

I’ll stay the course, I’ll stay to the straight and narrow

Never anxious, no need to worry about tomorrow

So bring me back to where it, it all began

Break me down oh Lord, break me again 


Man, the Only One, the Way, the Truth, and the Life

You spread out Your arms as the hammer fell

And You paid the ultimate price, so now I know


You’ve taken my feet from the miry clay

You set me firm on Your rock and showed me Your way

Fight On Oh Men of God

I have been in my new position of Associate Pastor here at the church in Indiana for two and a half months.

In that time I have spent going on five weeks now in a program with the men’s ministry called FIGHT CLUB.  Now I know, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club.

Well…this isn’t that kind of Fight Club!!

This Fight Club pushes us each week through assignments and commitments to fight for our faith, our familes, our health and grow in wisdom and spiritual maturity.  We work hard to accomplish to better ourselves and our lives through diligence in exercise, eating, time management, family engagement and Bible study.  We also take time to give up something in our lives for the ten weeks that we love.

I gave up all beverages including coffee – uhhhh…second guessing myself on the coffee now!

This morning I was struck in my time of study with a particular point of reference.  We are reading Proverbs each day and I wanted to pass on a lesson of encouragement that hit me this morning.

Proverbs 16: 3, 9, 25 & 33

3: “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

9: “The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

25: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”

33: “The lot is cast in the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.”

Consider this:

Our free will is a gift from God – one that allows us to make decisions. But we are called as men of God to make those decisions under the authority and power of God.

We have been given the Holy Spirit as our guide and it is our duty to follow its lead and prompting. We can set plans and make goals and strive for certain direction, but if it is not through prayer and consideration of what our Heavenly Father desires we are living in verse 25.

However, if we are allowing the Lord to guide our steps and COMMIT OUR WAYS TO HIM as it says in verse 3 then we can trust the promise from verse 33 that our decision is truly from the Lord.

What a powerful promise – from both views.  Choose commitment and we see faithfulness like we would never imagine. Choose selfishness and find a path that will bring you to ruin.

The right decision is always right in front of our face if we are willing to ackowledge it.  And whether we like it or not, when we have chosen Jesus the truth holds that He is in control no matter what we may think.  I love the words to the song by Steven Curtis Chapman here – “Lord of the Dance,”

“I am the heart you are the heartbeat. I am the eyes and you are the sight. I see clearly I am just a body and you are the life. I move my feet I go through the motions but you give purpose to chance. I am the dancer and you are the Lord of the Dance!”

We have an obiligation to fulfill the purpose of what God has designed and commanded us to do with our lives men!!

Let’s put our feet to the task of the narrow.

Let’s commit ourselves to the ways of the Lord and let him guide our feet.

Let’s hold the hand of the Lord of the Dance.

Fight On Oh Men of God!